Monotony

Shall I relate to you the wonderful adventures of my day?

I woke up at eleven, but didn’t get out of bed until noon. Because I’m really lazy, and mornings suck. So I listened to the radio play for an hour. When I finally got up, I had a shower and absolutely no breakfast, because breakfast would imply that I still maintain a modicum of health. I then settled into a chair and checked my email, applicable social networking sites, and maybe played a round of Tetris or two. Once all that is done, I actually bothered to make something quick in the kitchen. At this point I could go and do something productive, like learn some more Japanese or try to get some writing done; but I’m still a bit groggy, and I end up wasting most the afternoon and evening on video games and Skype.
The rest of the story will probably go something like this: the quiet hours will settle in. My favorite period of the day. I am speaking of pretty much any time after ten’o’clock. It’s tranquil. I like the thought that I’m awake while so many others are all sleeping. It makes me feel oddly reflective. I will probably either learn some Japanese or try to get some writing done. And I must emphasize “try”.

Writing is tough. It scares me that there might be some point at which I just won’t be able to go on, my wellspring of ideas and inspiration will just dry up, and the world and characters I put so much of myself into will flee into the empty void. It scares me so much that I usually end up staying awake for long hours beyond when I reasonably should to try to get more metaphorical ink onto the page. And only sometimes am I met with success.

At about four’o’clock in the morning, I’ll stumble into bed, mind still racing with whatever happens to occupy it at the time. And consciousness will slowly fade into darkness.

If you copy and paste that entire first section there, that will pretty much get you my entire life currently speaking. It’s as though the progress of the clock stopped for me and I’m stuck in a loop of wasting time and the occasional creative splurge. I’d love to find a job I enjoy doing, or to go to school for something I’m interested in, get some exercise in my routine and start eating healthier.

Motivation is paramount to achieve those ends, and sadly, I have none of that.

Monotony, o most dismal of curses, leave me be! I wish to soar! To spread my wings and descent from this perch to the vast world stretched out below! Alas, but for lack of a will I’d be there already…

Less-than-eloquently yours,
Brendon “Sloth” Regier

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About Brendon

I am a global terrorism warlord, meth kingpin, and hacker extraordinaire who has a moon base, at least fifteen wives, countless armies at my disposal, and a discover card. Oh, I also frequently make things up when I'm bored.

2 responses to “Monotony”

  1. her flaming youth says :

    I’m going through the same thing unfortunately.

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