The Secret Lives Of Human Beings
You know, I find it ironic that in this age of social media and the internet where people are growing increasingly concerned that our personal information is being made public that we are actually wrapping ourselves in a much thicker veil of privacy than ever before.
Allow me to explain.
What is the first question that you normally ask or are asked in a given conversation? Well, I won’t claim to speak for everyone, but usually mine start with, “what’s up?”. And the average response to this query?
Probably one of the most uninformative answers one can give. I would say it’s partially the fault of the question, which often seems like it is asked without much thought or meaning. A form of etiquette, not an actual curiosity about the other person’s life.
But that’s not all. The answer matters as much as the question. The answer is given like a typical response, just out of habit. The person doesn’t really wish to share the details of what’s been going on in their life. And that is what I find really curious.
Perhaps something is troubling you. Perhaps it is something personal. But how am I to help if you don’t confide? There may not be much I can do, but I can certainly try. And if not, then at least I’ve learned something about you, gotten to know you just a little bit better.
I often feel as though I’m traversing through a sea of icebergs as I meet people. A couple things on the surface, but most of the struggles and desires that define them are forever hidden below the water, away from the view of others.
Maybe we all think we will be judged. That others will hate us if we show them our vulnerabilities. And maybe we are right; but how are we to understand one other another if we don’t?
You may recall I wrote about something similar in my post on love; about how no person can relate to any other person due to the fact that you cannot possibly know every thought that goes through someone’s head and every little thing that influences their decisions. While all that is certainly true, we would have overcome the principal barrier to our lack of understanding if we had just opened up to one another.
For what is the purpose of our privacy beyond simple embarrassment? I’m not saying we should run out on the street shouting out our secrets for all to hear; I’m saying that if you’ve got a friend, a lover, or just someone you enjoy talking to, why not actually talk to them? You know, quit discussing the weather or who won the sports match and try instead what’s got you anxious, what’s keeping you up at night. There is some indescribable solace in confiding, in having someone hear you out.
I know it’s a tall order, a world where people actually open up to each other. It’s nearly a pipe dream, and I am aware as much as anyone that this world we live in does judge people; there are those who just don’t care, and those who wish to hurt.
So if something is bothering you today, try sharing it. If you don’t have a friend you trust, or a special someone out there who will hear your worries, then just remember I’m always here too.
Brendon “is listening” Regier